To save you from your mind
by Myuu
Summary: Vash is having a nightmare and meryl can't sleep....


I groaned and rolled over in bed trying futilely to go back to sleep. I hadn't slept well ever since the day Wolfwood died, too full of worries about everything- I am prone to thinking, and it is just too much. I pulled back the covers resigning myself to another long night and get up, wanting to get a drink of water. The bed creaked behind me as I stepped onto the floor and headed for the kitchen, which isn't really a kitchen after all, just a sink and a counter. I sigh standing on the wood stretching, fighting back a yawn, and turn the tap on listening to the silent swish of the running water coming through the pipes. I take a large sip from the upside down fountain coming out of the tap. Another noise, muffled over the sound of the water can be heard in the dim house.  
  
'What's going on?'  
  
I think to myself reaching over turning off the water and listening intently. Muffled pathetic cries and mumblings can be heard from somewhere down the hallway.  
  
'At least its not a burglar' I think sighing and decide to go back to bed.  
  
As I walk back down the hall towards my room I stop short as the voice cries out softly again, sounding pained and distressed.  
  
'Meryl, It's none of your business, go back to bed and everything will be fine in the morning. Someone's just talking in their sleep that's all.' I try to convince myself. 'But who is making those sounds? Is it Milly? Maybe the kind thing to do would be to wake her up, she's probably dreaming about Wolfwood. Poor girl.'  
  
With that thought in mind I open the door noiselessly and tiptoe quietly over to the bed. I almost have a heart attack in shock. Vash's face is illuminated by the moonlight coming through the window. He cries out painfully in his sleep in a moaning sob and I see tear tracks on his face. I feel the sadness well up uncontrollably inside me and the pain reaching out and tightening in my chest. I swallow hard.  
  
'Dammit! DAMMIT! What should I do? What should I do? I can't just leave him like this!'  
  
'Suffering in silence.'  
  
I make a quick decision, grabbing his shoulder with my hand and shaking furiously. "Vash-san! Wake up! Wake up, please!"  
  
He immediately opens his eyes wide gasping and sits bolt upright in bed.  
  
The covers fall off his upper body and I blush when I see he is not wearing a shirt. He stares up at me, turquoise eyes wide, for a moment in confused shock, then lowers his head to rest in his hands as his expression becomes horribly sad. A long silence stretches between us. I swear I want to run away but I'm frozen to the floor. I don't know what to do.  
  
'Yes you do Meryl, you're just too embarrassed.' I thought with a sharp intake of breath.  
  
'Not another thought.' I think to myself and muster up all the courage I have. I grab the edges of the bed and sit down beside him. He doesn't look at me, but he isn't crying either. He just covers his face with his hands and sits there still. I swallow nervously reaching out a shaky arm to rest on his scarred shoulder and pull him gently towards me.  
  
His body is limp and he just lets me. 'Vash..' I bring my other arm to rest on his opposite shoulder and hug him even closer so that his head rests under my chin. He's completely silent. No reaction whatsoever. I sigh, relieved that he doesn't seem to mind me hugging him like this, like we were lovers. Not that we are, at least I don't think so. But I do care, about Vash that is. My mind snaps back into the present as I realize that I'm hugging him, Vash, the pathetically sentimental weirdo, that I care about.  
  
Shit.  
  
I feel a tremor of heat run up my spine to my cheeks as I become aware of the feel of his head resting on my collarbone, his heart beating against my side. I stare out the open window at the glowing white moon until I calmed down somewhat. It's really dark out across the desert aside from the distant glowing lights of another town far away. I feel happier; it's a nice night after all. I unconsciously start to sing that pretty song I'd heard somewhere a long time ago.  
  
Sou. hitotsu me o yoru ni....  
  
I felt Vash jerk slightly and tense up. I stopped singing. He didn't move anymore so I continued to sing softly to myself.  
  
I feel him relax slowly, eventually, and let out a shaky breath against my skin. My voice wobbles slightly but I continue singing.  
  
I think he's asleep now..  
  
Grr!.. He better NOT ask me about this in front of Milly or anybody. If he ever brings it up I swear I'll punch him. Yet I sigh to myself and lay him down gently against his pillow.  
  
'I'm just digging myself deeper into something I don't quite understand. I don't even know what I feel.'  
  
I stare at his sleeping face feeling embarrassed for him and myself, but still sympathetic somehow. He's a really nice guy I have to admit, the kindest person I've ever met, but it's easier for me to call him an idiot. Then I don't have to get involved, don't have to think about the darker things, I'm protecting myself. It's true.  
  
"I'm sorry," I say sadly.  
  
"You are not an idiot.I am.'  
  
Then I run silently back to my room, to lie awake thinking.  
  
Looks like it'll be another sleepless night. 


End file.
